


The Grand Romance Of The Boar and the Duke - A Musical

by Anonymous



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: M/M, watching an opera about your life is kind of awkward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25476280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: For FE3H kinkmemefelix and dimitri sneak out to attend a popular play about the war (to relax or just keep informed of what ppl really think of their king), and surprise! It's a comedy/love story about how duke fraldarius helped the king find reason again. interpretation of their personalities are not so close to reality, there's a lot more humor
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 7
Kudos: 44
Collections: Anonymous, FE3H Kink Meme





	The Grand Romance Of The Boar and the Duke - A Musical

It should have been obvious in retrospect. After all, the suggestion came from Mercedes and the tickets came courtesy of Sylvain. But even with the little voice in the back of his mind howling about all the things that would inevitably go wrong by seeing an opera based on a war only five years ended, Felix ignored it. He and Dimitri deserved a break, even for one night.  
Speaking of His Majesty, Dimitri still had difficulty... blending in. Even wearing plain clothing, absent of any trace of Blaiddyd blue, even with his golden-blonde hair tucked beneath a hunter's hood, he still couldn't mask his presence. Dimitri couldn't look un-royal if he tried.   
"Felix, if you fuss over me any longer, we will miss the start of the performance." Dimitri chided - gently - as Felix made the last adjustments to his disguise. The whole point of having a night off was to not be recognized, and as large as Dimitri was, it would be difficult. Felix had instead simply let his hair down and opted for a simple riding outfit. Duke Fraldarius was known for his scowl, not for his unique looks.   
At least that was what Felix could gleam. It was not as though Felix listened to the chatter of the maids and the vapid nobles all that closely.  
"I still don't quite understand why there is an opera about us." Felix grumbled.  
"We did win a war, if memory serves."  
"With an army. That is made up of many people besides the two of us." Felix smoothed out the front of Dimitri's cloak. He would still stick out like a Leicester merchant in a Faerghus fortress, but it would have to do. "Just promise me that you if you are recognized, we leave. Quickly." Felix still didn't like crowds, and the last time he and Dimitri had been spotted at a public gathering he'd had to draw his sword and threaten each and every young suitor trying to get the king's attention.  
Admittedly, a night of swordplay would be highly relaxing. But Dimitri frowned upon his Duke stabbing citizens for small transgressions.  
"You have my word."  
  
Sylvain had reserved them a private booth in the upper level of the opera house. It was still a fairly new building and the architecture was hardly as grandiose as Mittelfrank. But Felix enjoyed the simplicity of fresh dark wood and clean lines over gaudy golds and heavy red velvet.  
Dimitri looked relaxed already. He'd managed to remain quiet and unobtrusive as they'd made their way through the bustling crowd and if any of the other attendees had recognized their king, they'd had the good sense to stay silent.  
So far, so good.  
The curtains rose.  
The performance started.  
  
Felix's stomach twisted. The playwright chose to start the action in Fhirdiad, right after the announcement of Dimitri's execution. Beside him, he knew without looking that Dimitri was frowning. Felix reached out, absentmindedly tapping his thigh as he often did during a meeting to direct Dimitri's attention towards him.  
Dimitri tapped his hand back twice. Their secret sign that he was paying attention but not bothered by the subject.  
And then the scene changed to a small room with a simple vanity and someone dressed in blue sitting next to it. The unpleasant painful feeling in his gut traveled upwards into his chest as the figure rose, dramatically singing a dirge and...  
"The _fuck_?" Felix hissed.  
"I'm sorry?" Dimitri asked.  
" _Is that a fucking Alto?!_ '   
Dimitri's hand went to his knee before Felix could stand up. "Is that something bad?"  
"I don't sound like that." Felix snarled. "My voice is not that..."  
"Oh no. Obviously you did not write a song about my death, nor sing it with such a melodramatic tone." Dimitri soothed. "This is clearly imaginary."  
Felix had locked himself in his room for three days and, in a fit of temper, cut his hair with Glenn's hunting knife. But Dimitri did not need to know such things. "Clearly."  
Felix also did not brandish his sword and point it at the hastily-made moon hanging in the top corner of the stage. He'd pointed it directly at the messenger that carried the news of Dimtiri's death instead.

"Felix?"  
Felix grunted.  
"I am absolutely certain I did not actually have tusks during my madness." Dimitri coughed. "And I am - that is to say, I do not think I walked around shirtless either."  
Whatever was going on was nothing like Felix remembered about the war. He did not walk around expressing his feelings with melodramatic sighs and musical asides about his lost prince or his wounded heart. He especially did not _faint_ that much and conveniently always while the not-Dimitri was around.  
And speaking of, the Dimitri was - well, he'd seen stick figures that resembled his childhood friend more. They'd found some muscular actor with a bone-deep baritone and flowing straw-blonde hair and rippling muscles that rivaled Raphael's. That was - absurd. It was absurd. Dimitri was slender beneath all that clothing with a small waist. Granted, he could pick Felix up but that was due to his crest, not bulging muscles that he kept flexing all over the place.  
And why was the not-Felix so obsessed with Dimitri anyway? Granted, Felix had looked for him for five years, but it wasn't to repair his empty heart or whatever it was. It was because they needed him for - the war effort. Yes.  
"Oh. Was that supposed to be a demonic beast there?" Dimitri tilted his head. "Hah hah. I - I do not believe I punched one in the face like that."  
"I would not have fainted either." Felix scoffed. "I would have stabbed it in the snout."  
"Oh yes. I must admit that I find it quite charming when you stab demonic beasts. But you usually do not use such - flair?"  
They also didn't embrace each other and sing. That was ridiculous. Felix, okay, maybe he did wonder, every once in a while, what it would be like to be surrounded by that blue cape but -   
"Felix, I do not believe they are really talking about lances and staves during this." Dimitri flushed. "That is - oh, ah hah, truly an Alois joke."  
Felix had not fantasized about Dimitri's lance. And Dimitri had not talked about getting impaled upon Felix's sword.  
Had he?  
"Thank you, by the way." Dimitri squeezed his hand at the most inopportune moment. "For not giving up on me."  
Felix huffed. He could feel his blood rush over the chorus onstage.   
"I suppose I should be grateful you did not face down a dragon to rescue me. That seems excessive."  
Felix would have taken down the Goddess herself, if it meant getting Dimitri back.  
"Oh, they are..." Dimitri stopped. "Oh."  
That was - that was a kiss.  
Between the fake Dimitri and the fake Felix.  
And beneath them, the audience was cheering.  
"Uh." Felix choked out.  
"Ah." Dimitri agreed.

The final act was the most over-the-top thing that Felix had ever seen. It involved bright dresses and sparkling ribbons and the fake-Dimitri swinging in from a chandelier. The fake-Felix had fought with a fake sword and it looked terrible, and somehow that had led to a musical number about friendship and heartache and the fake Felix spending verses talking about Faerghus flowers (that was decidedly not about flowers. At all).  
The curtain fell on the two kissing - again - and the audience clapped. Even if Felix wanted to applaud that... whatever it was, his body felt stuck in place.  
"That was - " Dimitri started, stilted and uneasy.  
"A farce." Felix finished.  
"Obviously you do not sing about lances and swords."  
"And you don't walk around shirtless in the snow."  
"And you do not faint like a young maiden upon seeing my - my undressed - "  
"And you do not act so dramatic or swing from chandeliers. Because you would break them."  
"Yes." Dimitri agreed firmly. "I do not understand the chandelier."  
"It was all ridiculous."  
"Very."  
Felix let out a shuddering breath.  
"I - the romance was, well, I would not get down on one knee and sing about your lustrous dark locks that sparkle like the night itself."  
"Good. Because I would gut you." It felt like there was something else in that sentence though. "And I would not ask you to be my sun. Or moon. Or whatever that absurd metaphor was."  
"I might - of course, hypothetically, if you did wish to - " Dimitri stuttered.  
Was he asking...?  
Surely not.  
"I would court you with daggers. And furs." Dimitri looked away, at the actors as they came out for the encore. "And sparring. Of course."  
"And I would tell you how I felt. Without all these stupid metaphors."  
"But you do not feel such affection for me. In reality."  
"In reality."  
Dimitri's hand found his anyway.  
"Would you like to spar with me, Felix?"  
"Every day." Felix squeezed his hand. "For the rest of my days."

**Author's Note:**

> Sylvain was reeling from laughter until Felix pointed out that he was depicted with a mustache. That was a step too far.


End file.
